The Journey of 1000 miles...
So the good news is that I've received an invitation to the YASC discernment weekend next month. The less than good news is that there's a million things to do before I get there. My "to-do" list gets added to almost hourly, and it seems it takes days to complete any singular item. On the plus side, between large volumes of coffee and pure excitement about what lies ahead, I'm not as daunted as I could have been. Also, a multitude of "coincidences" keep happening in what I can only assume is further evidence that this is truly a Spirit-filled calling.
Onward to Story Time! So, earlier this week I had an impromptu chat with my wonderful sister. I was retelling stories of recent events with friends and updating her on this whole YASC process. Somewhere between the two, she commented that I'll likely get through the impending interviews just fine if I am genuine and am conscious to control my mouth. I suppose it is one of the few ways I might be considered a typical 20-something: I tend to curse when around peers. Clearly it's not a speech pattern I take when interacting with my church bosses or youth group families (although it can slip out when conversing in small groups with my older high school students who speak likewise). To be entirely honest, it's usually not something that I ever think about; it comes as a reaction in mirroring linguistics of those I'm with. She's the one person in my life who routinely calls me on it. Most of the time I've shrugged it off since it's never been noted by someone else. Besides, she was worse than me last time we lived near each other. But now, she's been in Texas for 2+ years, attending a conservative bible church and really intentionally growing her faith, including making friends who are just as committed to it as she is. While I'm very proud of her, this has brought up a number of issues we now disagree on. Foul language is one of them. She usually brings up scripture along the lines of James 3:10 "From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." Her faith tells her that the praises of God and the F-bomb coming from the same mouth makes one of them dishonest (at least, that's what I understood of what she says). I get it, and in some respects I agree, but I think we differ on an underlying definition of the English translation of "cursing". Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding is that throughout the storied histories of many religions a "curse" is a word or phrase uttered with the intent and ability to befall another with misfortune. Often associated with pagan worship or "witchcraft", even in the early days of the church these phrases were believed to have power unto themselves. My faith does not deny that there are such things, but I do not believe that modern American English profanities are associated with that kind of power. If and when I utter foul language I don't expect anyone I might possibly direct it towards to suffer in any physical, mental, or emotional way. While I know words have a lot of power, I don't believe saying "s***" will cause hair to fall out, fortunes to dwindle, or anyone's death. On another note, I have heard of a number of studies that associate appropriate levels of cursing (especially when frustrated, and in an appropriate setting) with being able to diffuse stress and anger. With all that being said, I'm completely decided that I'm still on the fence when it comes to uttering curse words (helpful, right?).
More important than the trivial discussion of these types of curse words, I feel, is the significance of another verse about words. Colossians 3:8 "But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth." To me, this says more about the intentions of our words than the words themselves. My generation has so many words for such kinds of sweetened double speak, it's fairly disturbing: backhanded compliments, throwing shade, spilling T, and even the concept of frenemies. To me this underhanded and dishonest niceness is much more troubling than someone saying f***. Am I guilty of it on occasion, yes. I can easily look back on periods of my life and see certain situations I was in where I allowed myself to fall deeply into this kind of behavior, and I must unfortunately confess that it is often when placed in situations of large groups of other ladies. Even remembering now gives me shudders of contempt for my own behavior. The bad news is that even a heartfelt disdain for my own actions does not automatically equate to the ability to avoid this pitfall. As I found is true with everything from dieting to bad habits, focusing on fixing the negative doesn't work for me; I do best when I consciously replace poor behavior with positive attributes.
One of the biggest rays of hope for this whole issue is that the bible says so much about what traits ought to be sought after.Verses like Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Prayers and songs like Hymn 297 from the Episcopal Hymnal:
Even just focusing on the fruits of the spirit, and looking to pursue them over earthly gains helps me to better control my temper, attitude, and interactions with others. So this journey of 1000 miles will start with a step of concerted effort to purify my intentions toward others.
I think for me, I'd rather know my heart holds no malice toward any of God's creations than that none of my language would ever need be bleeped on national television.
Except mosquitoes. They still get malice as long as they keep biting me.
EDIT: It's been a couple months and another of the bloggers I follow just posted a similar post on this topic. We share many similar opinions on this topic, but not all of them, so check it out here.
Onward to Story Time! So, earlier this week I had an impromptu chat with my wonderful sister. I was retelling stories of recent events with friends and updating her on this whole YASC process. Somewhere between the two, she commented that I'll likely get through the impending interviews just fine if I am genuine and am conscious to control my mouth. I suppose it is one of the few ways I might be considered a typical 20-something: I tend to curse when around peers. Clearly it's not a speech pattern I take when interacting with my church bosses or youth group families (although it can slip out when conversing in small groups with my older high school students who speak likewise). To be entirely honest, it's usually not something that I ever think about; it comes as a reaction in mirroring linguistics of those I'm with. She's the one person in my life who routinely calls me on it. Most of the time I've shrugged it off since it's never been noted by someone else. Besides, she was worse than me last time we lived near each other. But now, she's been in Texas for 2+ years, attending a conservative bible church and really intentionally growing her faith, including making friends who are just as committed to it as she is. While I'm very proud of her, this has brought up a number of issues we now disagree on. Foul language is one of them. She usually brings up scripture along the lines of James 3:10 "From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." Her faith tells her that the praises of God and the F-bomb coming from the same mouth makes one of them dishonest (at least, that's what I understood of what she says). I get it, and in some respects I agree, but I think we differ on an underlying definition of the English translation of "cursing". Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding is that throughout the storied histories of many religions a "curse" is a word or phrase uttered with the intent and ability to befall another with misfortune. Often associated with pagan worship or "witchcraft", even in the early days of the church these phrases were believed to have power unto themselves. My faith does not deny that there are such things, but I do not believe that modern American English profanities are associated with that kind of power. If and when I utter foul language I don't expect anyone I might possibly direct it towards to suffer in any physical, mental, or emotional way. While I know words have a lot of power, I don't believe saying "s***" will cause hair to fall out, fortunes to dwindle, or anyone's death. On another note, I have heard of a number of studies that associate appropriate levels of cursing (especially when frustrated, and in an appropriate setting) with being able to diffuse stress and anger. With all that being said, I'm completely decided that I'm still on the fence when it comes to uttering curse words (helpful, right?).
More important than the trivial discussion of these types of curse words, I feel, is the significance of another verse about words. Colossians 3:8 "But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth." To me, this says more about the intentions of our words than the words themselves. My generation has so many words for such kinds of sweetened double speak, it's fairly disturbing: backhanded compliments, throwing shade, spilling T, and even the concept of frenemies. To me this underhanded and dishonest niceness is much more troubling than someone saying f***. Am I guilty of it on occasion, yes. I can easily look back on periods of my life and see certain situations I was in where I allowed myself to fall deeply into this kind of behavior, and I must unfortunately confess that it is often when placed in situations of large groups of other ladies. Even remembering now gives me shudders of contempt for my own behavior. The bad news is that even a heartfelt disdain for my own actions does not automatically equate to the ability to avoid this pitfall. As I found is true with everything from dieting to bad habits, focusing on fixing the negative doesn't work for me; I do best when I consciously replace poor behavior with positive attributes.
One of the biggest rays of hope for this whole issue is that the bible says so much about what traits ought to be sought after.Verses like Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Prayers and songs like Hymn 297 from the Episcopal Hymnal:
 |
| "Descend O Spirit, purging flame, brand us this day with Jesus' Name! Confirm our faith, consume our doubt; sign us as Christ's, within, without. Forbid us not this second birth; grace unto us the greater worth! Enlist us in your service, Lord; baptize all nations with your Word." |
I think for me, I'd rather know my heart holds no malice toward any of God's creations than that none of my language would ever need be bleeped on national television.
Except mosquitoes. They still get malice as long as they keep biting me.
EDIT: It's been a couple months and another of the bloggers I follow just posted a similar post on this topic. We share many similar opinions on this topic, but not all of them, so check it out here.
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