What's love got to do with it?
Usually, I'd like to think I'm a pretty upbeat sort of person, and I try to always put something of that nature into my blog posts. I've been away for so long now, maybe I've forgotten a bit about how this was working for me. Or maybe it's just the fact that I woke up panicking in a cold sweat at 5 am today.
Because, in case you couldn't guess this, leaving behind everything is actually pretty scary. Not always, not forever, but in those few moments of panic about this decision, I'd honestly say the descriptors actually come closer to "mind-numbing paralysis" than just fear. For me, it was the realization that I am departing from the one and only constant I've ever had in my life. I've lived many places, moved many times, different homes, different schools, different friends, but never have I lived more than an hour away from my family. And I really have liked that.
I'm preparing to go somewhere AMAZING! I'll be learning new things, meeting new people, and living a much different life than any I've ever known. I know that this year will change me, permanently, drastically, and wonderfully. But if I hear one more person quote Philippians 4:13 again, I'm probably gonna scream! Because I really don't feel like I need more scripture chucked at my head right now. I don't want platitudes about how wonderful it is that I'm doing this.
If you're out there and reading this right now, here's what I'll ask of you: Can you commit to being the presence of Christ in my life for this year? Can you sign up as a prayer partner on the right hand side of this page (if you're on mobile, scroll all the way down and click to the web view first)?
Because I know that God will be with me. That is not something I doubt. But some days, I feel like I need some sort of tangible proof that others remember me, too. Especially when I'm far away and out of sight and mind.
One of the coolest moments for me at the two weeks of YASC training was a morning of Lectio Divina in small groups, mine led by Br. Joseph. Our passage was from Mark:
The God of second chances didn't chase the man down, didn't comfort, didn't seek to reconcile.
Sometimes timing is tricky, and often those struggling with belief need multiple chances to get it on track. There is no way God is incapable of pursuing them, but often, I think He sends us instead. Not because He can't or won't, but because allowing us to rely on and care for each other helps shape us all into more Christ-like form. When the world, or a friend, or a child is suffering, it is not because God chooses to ignore their plight, but because it is an opportunity for humanity to choose a more loving and divine path back to our maker.
To pursue a Christian life is to accept the task of always choosing love. Over distrust, hurt, disregard, and apathy.
To seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving our neighbors as ourselves.
Because, in case you couldn't guess this, leaving behind everything is actually pretty scary. Not always, not forever, but in those few moments of panic about this decision, I'd honestly say the descriptors actually come closer to "mind-numbing paralysis" than just fear. For me, it was the realization that I am departing from the one and only constant I've ever had in my life. I've lived many places, moved many times, different homes, different schools, different friends, but never have I lived more than an hour away from my family. And I really have liked that.
I'm preparing to go somewhere AMAZING! I'll be learning new things, meeting new people, and living a much different life than any I've ever known. I know that this year will change me, permanently, drastically, and wonderfully. But if I hear one more person quote Philippians 4:13 again, I'm probably gonna scream! Because I really don't feel like I need more scripture chucked at my head right now. I don't want platitudes about how wonderful it is that I'm doing this.
If you're out there and reading this right now, here's what I'll ask of you: Can you commit to being the presence of Christ in my life for this year? Can you sign up as a prayer partner on the right hand side of this page (if you're on mobile, scroll all the way down and click to the web view first)?
Because I know that God will be with me. That is not something I doubt. But some days, I feel like I need some sort of tangible proof that others remember me, too. Especially when I'm far away and out of sight and mind.
One of the coolest moments for me at the two weeks of YASC training was a morning of Lectio Divina in small groups, mine led by Br. Joseph. Our passage was from Mark:
The method of Lectio that Br. Joseph asked us to try was focused on immersion into the scene. I pictured myself standing in the midst of this event, noticing details, observing others, and making it come alive. And I noticed something I have never spotted before, from a passage I've seen countless times.17 As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; You shall not defraud; Honor your father and mother.’” 20 He said to him, “Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth.” 21 Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money[a] to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” 22 When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.23 Then Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!”
The God of second chances didn't chase the man down, didn't comfort, didn't seek to reconcile.
Sometimes timing is tricky, and often those struggling with belief need multiple chances to get it on track. There is no way God is incapable of pursuing them, but often, I think He sends us instead. Not because He can't or won't, but because allowing us to rely on and care for each other helps shape us all into more Christ-like form. When the world, or a friend, or a child is suffering, it is not because God chooses to ignore their plight, but because it is an opportunity for humanity to choose a more loving and divine path back to our maker.
To pursue a Christian life is to accept the task of always choosing love. Over distrust, hurt, disregard, and apathy.
To seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving our neighbors as ourselves.
Comments
Post a Comment