Choosy kids choose gifs


**WARNING** long distance communication of emotion and meaning is tricky, so I've added animated pictures (.gif files) to this post.  If you are on mobile or subscribed via email, you may have some trouble seeing these important components of this post.
So for starters, I now have both a ticket AND a visa (I hear that's the winning combo)!
No better way to celebrate than with
PENGUIN GIFS!

 For seconders, I'm not only getting more excited, but massive amounts of panic are setting in, too. This is in large part due to having become much more type A than I realized over the past few years (sorry, it was the one thing I didn't keep track of; it sneaked up on me), and in slightly smaller part due to me taking on what looks to now be an excessive amount of belongings throughout my lifetime for someone who has never actually lived on her own (again, how did that happen?--not the living situation, the stuff).  Much like loading the dishwasher, I expect my suitcases to embody a much less enthralling, more frustrating version of adult tetris. yay. Mostly the goal is to get what I need to Brazil without anything being broken, ripped, exploding, or leaking, or any worse fate I have not yet concocted in my mind (if you know of one, this would be a perfect time to keep it to yourself).

 Also, it dawned on me while scrubbing down the guest room shower (and I'll admit the smell of the cleaning supplies has probably affected my brain) this morning, that some of my teenagers from Holy Innocents are preparing to run/team/attend the New Beginnings weekend retreat for middle schoolers starting Friday.  What's amazing is the fact that I attended the last New Beginnings as a chaperon, and it was the weekend before YASC's discernment weekend was held. I mean, I was already pretty sure I was gonna do this, but to think about how much my life, mind, plans, and heart have changed between a repeated event that happens twice a year is just mind boggling.  It's also why I panic (sensing a theme about me here?) when well meaning people ask me what my plans are for AFTER my year of service with YASC.  
Preparing to cross a big divide
So here's what I know:
1. I started this year jobless and as overweight as I've ever been in my life. It was pretty sucky.
2. In eleven months time, I've will have managed to lose over 50 pounds (done already) and move to another hemisphere for a vocation that is guaranteed to challenge me and inspire me. Not too bad, progress wise.
3. If all that can shift in eleven months, I'm not wise to be taking bets on what God can do with me in 12 or 24 (or that evil "5 year plan" interview question). 

 I'm not a gambler (mostly because I have no disposable income, but probably not even then), but that seems like a really silly bet to take. 
So, how did I get here? Well, here's a bit of what I wrote as Member of the Month at my gym about my weight loss and progress:
Christmas Eve 2014 Selfie


I guess you could say my journey started in the usual way for most intentional big weight loss.  I realized one day that I was unhappy--miserable, even--and in pain because of my weight, and it was up to me to choose something different.  So now, over 50 lbs lighter, when people ask me how I did it, my answer is easy:  I chose.  I chose to stop taking the "quick fix" for food.  I chose to be at the gym more.  I chose to give up things I liked for something I really wanted.  I chose the temporary pain in workouts over the constant pain of obesity.  I chose my diet, on days I chose healthy and days when I failed.  I chose to celebrate my achievements.  I chose to learn to forgive my own 
October 2015 Selfie
mistakes and slip ups.  I chose when I cheated, and I chose when I pushed myself to "beast mode" at the gym.  And I chose a community at my gym that didn't force or demand anything of me.  They just helped remind me to keep choosing what I already had chosen, and encouraged me to choose better going forward.  I don't feel like I chose to lose weight.  I chose to be happy and healthy.

So much of this holds true for this YASC decision as well.  I understand that I have chosen both the good and difficult, the wins and the set backs. I'll work to understand (and eventually, hopefully be competent enough to be understood) across both cultural and linguistic divides.  I've chosen times when I'll feel lonely and all the days that I'll be surrounded by a loving community.  I've chosen my fear, and I'll choose my success.  And I'll keep choosing it for at least 365 days, because what I cannot bear to do, at this point in my life, is to go back and choose what I was before.  It is not good; it is not safe; it is not healthy.  And I'm fairly certain that I've never heard of a single story where God ever called anyone to do less going forward, to stay (wait, yes, stay--nope), to limit the potential he gave them (again, if you know of a scenario for this, this too, it is an appropriate time to not tell me).
Me, wondering if I'm really ready for this

 So in 12 days, with all the grace (likely) of this penguin, I will fly to Brazil.  Please keep praying! In fact, I've added a new page to the blog (you can find it up top on both web and mobile versions) labeled "Prayers". This is actually a prayer map for myself, but also to aid those who want to join me in some more specific prayers (keep in mind some cities you'll have to scroll through all the names since there are multiple prayer partners there).  I'm happy to add to it, either publicly or privately, or with specific requests, so that all can commune in prayer world wide if they wish.  It has been a helpful tool for me already, so I forget no one who has impacted my journey so far.

 Also, I ask again that if you find this at all interesting or think it could be applicable to anyone else you know, share this page.  I know that it was at almost this point a year ago that I stalked EVERY SINGLE YASC BLOG to help figure out if this was the thing for me.  Applications are open again now (check the link to the YASC webpage on my All About YASC tab), and I'm happy to do for anyone else what several gracious prior YASCers did for me. 

 It's pretty obvious that this was a choice that has changed everything.

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