Unfortunately, I think I'm now an adult

 So it's no secret that I'm disabled, and have been for a few years now. Let me tell you the learning curve is steep! Especially when it comes to the government. There is so little I knew about disability law, support assistance, and government healthcare before I found myself wading through the bureaucratic system essentially solo (shoutout to my mom and friend Angie for all they did to help!). It was terrifying. And I had success, putting me in the "lucky" top 20%, so I know it could have been so much worse. Why does this matter to anyone else? Well, for starters, anyone could become disabled on any day of the week, and most of us will be disabled at some point in our lives (though most commonly in old age). You have literally zero control of when it could happen; for all you know you're already a ticking time bomb like I was, or there's a car crash coming, or any other thousands of things. Plus, studies are showing that with each time a person catches Covid

 Ok, so, I don't actually have a TikTok account because I live on a wifi network with a super security conscious person (and that extra-ness applies in ALL things, like, I apparently am supposed to rinse out the cans from my seltzer water before I recycle them...???😶) But I do love the concept of the app, so I just live a couple weeks behind the timeline of the "cool kids" and see the same viral vids when they appear on the "old people" versions of social media I already have, like facebook or insta. As far as productivity goes, viral reels and ADHD are a match made in hell, but because I have to spend many hours a day laying down and resting to moderate my health issues, it's not like I was ever going to be super productive anyway.  What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills that make me a nightmare for people who want to save money. Basically, my current top categories of reels are either of the wonderful Penny the Cat, or of cool amazon f

A selfie of Rachel smiling while holding a tiny black puppy. This photo is here on the off change you'd forgotten who is behind this blog lol  Welcome to the time of year when I am forced to watch the most amount of commercials of any point on the calendar.  Mostly because, when our Rays baseball team doesn't screw it up, there's an overlap of 3 pro seasons plus college football. Other than sports, pretty much everything my household watches is on a streaming service where there either aren't any commercials at all, or the algorithm chooses them based on what we've been talking about around our google devices or phones (all hail the self-selected wire tap!) so we don't always get to know about every movie being released, every drug coming to market, or every product designed to save us from our own ineptitude. Sadly, watching more network sports means commercials, and living in Florida in an election year means those commercials are less informative and more pol

 There's a running joke in the disability community called: Crip Time. It basically alludes to the fact that we either 1) run late because things just take us longer due to disability, or 2) our time is not valued by society because of our disabilities so we are expected to wait longer for things than abled people. Thus the passage for time when in a constant state of disability is nebulous and weird. Like, I had appointments this week with my Neurologist, Cardiologist, and Physical Therapist, which seems like a lot of medical stuff in one week to an abled person, but for me is normal. The other days this week, however, we're mostly spent getting ready for these appointments and sleeping. Which makes it all the more strange when people in the "real world" tend to ask me "what have you been up to these days?" I mean, the same old thing I always am, and also kinda nothing, because very few of these medical appointments feel like progress anymore. It's just

 If absence makes the heart grow fonder, any subscribers to this blog should be head over heels in love with me by this point.  I mean, it's been over a year, and about half a pandemic (by my guesstimation) since I last even came to this blog, let alone wrote anything.  Some things have changed: we moved to a new house. Some things have not: still disabled and largely a medical mystery of comorbidities. So, fun times all around. I'm sure you've always wondered exactly what it takes to keep a Rachel operational (with conditions, of course).  One of the first things I learned about being disabled is that it is rather expensive.  In fact, most disabled people spend an extra 27% to attain the same quality of life as a typical abled person. Add to that the fact that many disabled Americans are on a fixed or limited income (often well below poverty level) and you get a sense that our society expects disabled people to suffer if they want to stay alive. But how about we start with

One of my favorite retorts to denigration is the question: "What even is the point of you?" It both subverts the intended insult previous to it, and also implies the ask-er serves no essential purpose themselves.  To me, I've always found pointlessness a shameful prospect. Having a purpose has always been a critical part of how I see myself and my future.  This has become an issue as concerns my self-image as a disabled person. But that's a reflection I'm not sure I'm ready to delve into just yet; I'm still working it out. I'm not sure I fully understand the point of all those stylized lettered signs, chalkboards, and canvases found running rampant with pithy phrases at craft stores, home decor places, and pinterest, either.  Most of them say such generic or useless stuff, and some are just downright, frustratingly wrong.  For example, one of my least favorite quotes of all time: "God never gives you more than you can handle."  I think, at