Unfortunately, I think I'm now an adult

So I realized while writing the last post, that I have not been posting the music and songs I've been praying quite as much as I used to.  But I'm aiming to change that with this post.  So if you see these in your email, the songs probably won't load for you to listen to, so I recommend you visit the actual blog link so you can hear exactly what my heart and soul have been singing lately.  It's also a good chance to listen to a bit more Portuguese, but know that some of the songs are in English as well. Eu realizei que durante a blog passado, eu não foi colocado tao musica e canções do que antes. Estou tentando a mudar isso com este blog. Então se você olhar este blog no seu email, as canções provavelmente não está aqui. Eu recomendo que você usa a verdadeiro blog para olhar as meditações da minha coração recentemente. Uns está no portugûes, mas outros está no inglês. Curtir. In this place you are real I will give myself fully Your touch opened the eyes of my...

Before I start, I'll give a quick reminder that if you got here through a Facebook link, you may not always see exactly when I post new stuff.  The best way to do that is to subscribe.  If you already have a RSS feed, you can follow easily.  If you have no idea what that means, or just don't want to figure that out, you can subscribe by email in the side panel (or at the bottom on a mobile device).  That way new stuff will guaranteed make it to you!) So for my YASC class, in terms of locations, Brasilia is the farthest from an ocean, over 100 miles further inland than Paris, France, and double that of Dodoma, Tanzania from the coast, and clearly beating any spot in Haiti, Japan, the Philippines, and other island nations and port cities.  So this Florida girl has been seriously limited on beach time this year.  However, lately, the ocean has certainly been on my mind.  Mostly because I'm being haunted by another song again. It's a song I sang last s...

*WARNING: this post contains a youtube video.  You will need to view this on my actual website* So if you are not a long time reader of this blog, I'm quite a music nerd, and I'm pretty sure it's hereditary.  Both my parents are lifetime musicians who sing and play multiple instruments each (well, they know how, even if they are a bit out of practice now because of needing to work at real jobs that pay money and all that) and encouraged (read: forced) my sister and me towards the same.  Being able to bring my guitar to play, and the ability to read music and my hymnals and books from home to sing with has been one of the most valuable tools so far here in Brazil.  Many of the hymns in their tiny hymnal (no notes, just words) are sung to many of the same tunes as our hymns back home, although the words and meanings can vary greatly.  But, it is FAR easier to sing a tune you know while focusing all your attention on pronunciation of a language you've barely learn...

The center where I will be working My future computer classroom!  This week, I got to see pictures from my future home and it made me feel so excited, frustrated, and guilty! Obviously I'm excited to go and begin to learn from and with the church and specific youth I'll be working with. Also, pretty obvious why I'm frustrated, since I'm still here when I would gladly have left two months ago given my own preferences.  And the guilty part is the persistent feeling of ineffectiveness while I sit here, feeling unproductive and like a bit of a burden to those supporting me.  It completely stinks, and yet I have realized that I am so tremendously blessed. So I'll tell you a bit more about what I have been doing, and then I'll explain myself about that previous statement. Going to Pinot's Pallet with the youth So I volunteered to be an "adult" for the youth group outing to a local studio that sets you up with materials and instruction o...

As my page views count inches toward the 1000 mark, I realize that, quite possibly, many of you reading might not know me well, or might not know me well recently, so I am giving you a little look into my past with this post.  Who knew that today your computer/phone/tablet screen would become a crystal ball (sorry no futures, those are beyond my control.  But they are discussed a bit later, so stick around)! I have grown up the oldest daughter of two colossal music nerds and talented musicians.  Even when I was very little, much of our interactions involved singing, playing, listening, and learning music.  Although I never was diligent enough to pick up piano skills; the love of music, and the awe of it's nearly limitless capabilities to express emotion and portray insight, has stuck with me (as you can probably guess from the number of posts tagged "music" on this blog).  This very much included songs and tunes in the Episcopal tradition, but by no means was ...

So I've decided I need to spend some time with my new theme song on repeat making as many thankfulness lists as I can before my hands cramp up.  Join me, won't you? I am thankful that I am tethered to an outlet because it means I have worked hard all day on my computer and refuse to give up yet. I am thankful that my toes are a little cold, even in south Florida, because it means I am blessed to have a working air conditioner. I am thankful that I had to stop at the gas station and fill up my car, because it means I was able to attend all my meetings and work, and am able to continue to do so tomorrow. I am thankful for my big bowl of carrots, even though I don't love carrots, because today is another day God has provided me strength of will to stick to my diet. I am thankful for having too many things to pack easily for my move this weekend.  They are physical signs of how many blessings have been heaped on me in life. I am thankful for getting home from work...

It seems so weird knowing now unequivocally that there are new people reading this daily.  I'm mean, I knew it would happen when I started, but knowing some "eventually" versus seeing home page hit count rise every time you log in is a totally different sensation.  And, unlike some of the older posts, plenty of folks will see this post as they visit for the first time.  No pressure...but everything from here on out is always a first impression for someone. I'm happy you're here, because I need you with me throughout this journey.  Side note: while mobile viewing from your phone or small tablet is totally convenient, you don't get to see the side bars where I've put a bunch of cool stuff, including easy ways to contact me or subscribe to any future posts.  So don't forget to check again at home later.  Also, please look for the "Home" button or bar.  If you tap it, you should see another option saying "Support" and that's where...

So over the past couple of weeks, I've been stalked by a particular song.  It would be the first on the radio when I started my car, and it's catchy.  I found it stuck circling in my head, a small ribbon of a melody entwined through my thoughts for days at a time.  And just when I could finally get it out, I'd start another drive to work, or a dozen other places, and there it is once more, waiting to re-wrap itself around my thoughts and my heart. It is one of the most raw, accurate, and honest love songs I've ever heard.  And that accuracy hits close to home every time I hear it, bringing tears to my eyes. I've seen this battle before.  True, I am absolutely nowhere near marriage, and haven't ever been invested in a serious relationship.  But this struggle has been one I've witnessed for so many other friends and family. My family takes marriage pretty seriously, and they are great examples of how to "make it stick".  Both sets of grandparents p...

So at this point, the blog has still not gone public, so I feel like I'm lecturing to an empty room as it were, but I know it's just a matter of time before others will be reading some of my ramblings.  With that in mind, I wanted to dedicate a post to this questions I've been getting a lot since telling people of my acceptance to the Young Adult Service Corp (YASC). Why? Such a simple question, such an extraordinarily complicated answer. I suppose the easiest answer for me to give is that I can't not  go.  When I look back on all the lovely blessings I've been given by God, and all the terrifying struggles He's helped me through, I can clearly see that the path I've been walking, although it seemed aimless and wandering before, was a bee-line for mission such as this.  When you first tell your family that you want to move to who-knows-where for a year serving the church and the response is, "I figured you were gonna do this years ago.  It's a...

Sometimes, writing a blog entry is a test in subject matter searching.  Other times, I am repeatedly bashed over the head with an idea until I have no other choice but to sit down, contemplate it, and finally write something semi-cohesive.  This has been a bit more of the latter this week.  I suppose the kickoff point was a simple prayer said by one of the brothers for a meal at the monastery last weekend: "Give bread to those who are hungry, and to those of us who have bread, give hunger for your justice." (or something like that, I've slept since then, it's close enough) This simple prayer rippled through me, and the rest of the room, like a massive tidal wave.  It was over well before the impact truly hit, and I stood a little shocked at its profundity and simplicity.  Since then, the persistence of message has turned toward the concept of brokenness, and I feel they go together quite well. Our faith, our songs, our conversations reference often the concept...

Once again, I'm woefully late with this.  I'm starting to think I should just never plan to write here again, that way I'll be way ahead of schedule next time I do.  Anyways, it's been a couple weeks since part 1 went on the book, and the meal plan and exercising is going pretty well.  I'm losing weight, but more importantly I feel better.  I have more energy (fewer naps needed) and am more consistently upbeat than before.  Plus, I'm currently winning the competition, so that doesn't suck either. Last post had just barely touched the topic of how the spiritual and physical interact on a personal and body image level.  Let's be honest, American culture sends a lot of really messed up messages to girls and women about themselves.  Whether it's the "damsel in distress" trope or just the photoshop augmented images held up as standards, there's a lot of really crappy stuff thrown our way.  Every single female I've ever known has gone t...

So, in all the excitement of research and inquiry yesterday about the YASC  opportunity I got exactly 15 minutes of light dozing in this morning before church.  I've had a cup of church coffee (which, in fairness did include some pumpkin spice creamer), but I predict that I will completely crash post-lunch...if I ever leave my office to do it.  While normally I love that I work in an office with couches, Apples to Apples games, and a Foosball table, it's hard to appreciate it when you've got so much running through your mind. So now, I've gotten through the mass email about our 7 upcoming youth events in December (yikes!) and updated the Facebook page. Next up is all about discernment and preparations for this application process.  I've got a fairly lengthy to-do list, and a pretty big time crunch.  Plus I still have a number of important people to bring into the loop on this adventure.  Namely, my best friend (sister) and both sets of grandparents who wil...