Unfortunately, I think I'm now an adult

I can tell quite a bit about how my health history has recently gone by some of the data from this blog. Such as: how long it has been since I last posted, how many times I've even logged in, or how many other people's posts I had backlogged to catch up on from other friends and YASCers. But I'm catching up a little. Also, to be fair, I've had a couple other large things that had taken more of my time and energy than I expected. Or, perhaps, they are taking the same amount of time and energy they always would have, but I no longer have the reserve pool of such things like I did before my health shifted. Things that once were a small part, are now large hurdles, and sometimes I can't make it through, much less on to other things as I used to. That's a bit beside the point though, and not actually what I came to write about today. I find myself frustrated with how focused I seem to be on all of this lately, and while it's not something I can safely ignore,...

**WARNING** long distance communication of emotion and meaning is tricky, so I've added animated pictures (.gif files) to this post.  If you are on mobile or subscribed via email, you may have some trouble seeing these important components of this post. So for starters, I now have both a ticket AND a visa (I hear that's the winning combo)! No better way to celebrate than with PENGUIN GIFS! For seconders, I'm not only getting more excited, but massive amounts of panic are setting in, too. This is in large part due to having become much more type A than I realized over the past few years (sorry, it was the one thing I didn't keep track of; it sneaked up on me), and in slightly smaller part due to me taking on what looks to now be an excessive amount of belongings throughout my lifetime for someone who has never actually lived on her own (again, how did that happen?--not the living situation, the stuff).  Much like loading the dishwasher, I expect my suitc...

The center where I will be working My future computer classroom!  This week, I got to see pictures from my future home and it made me feel so excited, frustrated, and guilty! Obviously I'm excited to go and begin to learn from and with the church and specific youth I'll be working with. Also, pretty obvious why I'm frustrated, since I'm still here when I would gladly have left two months ago given my own preferences.  And the guilty part is the persistent feeling of ineffectiveness while I sit here, feeling unproductive and like a bit of a burden to those supporting me.  It completely stinks, and yet I have realized that I am so tremendously blessed. So I'll tell you a bit more about what I have been doing, and then I'll explain myself about that previous statement. Going to Pinot's Pallet with the youth So I volunteered to be an "adult" for the youth group outing to a local studio that sets you up with materials and instruction o...

Once again, I'm woefully late with this.  I'm starting to think I should just never plan to write here again, that way I'll be way ahead of schedule next time I do.  Anyways, it's been a couple weeks since part 1 went on the book, and the meal plan and exercising is going pretty well.  I'm losing weight, but more importantly I feel better.  I have more energy (fewer naps needed) and am more consistently upbeat than before.  Plus, I'm currently winning the competition, so that doesn't suck either. Last post had just barely touched the topic of how the spiritual and physical interact on a personal and body image level.  Let's be honest, American culture sends a lot of really messed up messages to girls and women about themselves.  Whether it's the "damsel in distress" trope or just the photoshop augmented images held up as standards, there's a lot of really crappy stuff thrown our way.  Every single female I've ever known has gone t...

This update is so many days later than I originally wanted it.  I had hoped to get into a pattern of posting here each week after church before heading to the usual family lunch.  However, I have somehow ended up working on more pressing matters unexpectedly each time I've tried to sit down and write this.  I don't really like writing/working from my home because, mainly, there's no great place to do so.  I've got a room, and granted it's a fairly big room, but it's only a bedroom at the end of it all and somewhere along the way I gave up having a desk or any chairs in this place.  The only furniture to my name is a big wicker papisan chair with a huge round green cushion.  And it doesn't fit in my space.  So really I spend most of my time in my room on my bed.  Not always sleeping, but just online or watching TV or reading either laying down or upright against a pile of pillows.  Now I'm fully upright at the middle to write this, and that pu...