Unfortunately, I think I'm now an adult

 So it's no secret that I'm disabled, and have been for a few years now. Let me tell you the learning curve is steep! Especially when it comes to the government. There is so little I knew about disability law, support assistance, and government healthcare before I found myself wading through the bureaucratic system essentially solo (shoutout to my mom and friend Angie for all they did to help!). It was terrifying. And I had success, putting me in the "lucky" top 20%, so I know it could have been so much worse. Why does this matter to anyone else? Well, for starters, anyone could become disabled on any day of the week, and most of us will be disabled at some point in our lives (though most commonly in old age). You have literally zero control of when it could happen; for all you know you're already a ticking time bomb like I was, or there's a car crash coming, or any other thousands of things. Plus, studies are showing that with each time a person catches Covid...

 There's a running joke in the disability community called: Crip Time. It basically alludes to the fact that we either 1) run late because things just take us longer due to disability, or 2) our time is not valued by society because of our disabilities so we are expected to wait longer for things than abled people. Thus the passage for time when in a constant state of disability is nebulous and weird. Like, I had appointments this week with my Neurologist, Cardiologist, and Physical Therapist, which seems like a lot of medical stuff in one week to an abled person, but for me is normal. The other days this week, however, we're mostly spent getting ready for these appointments and sleeping. Which makes it all the more strange when people in the "real world" tend to ask me "what have you been up to these days?" I mean, the same old thing I always am, and also kinda nothing, because very few of these medical appointments feel like progress anymore. It's just...

One of my favorite retorts to denigration is the question: "What even is the point of you?" It both subverts the intended insult previous to it, and also implies the ask-er serves no essential purpose themselves.  To me, I've always found pointlessness a shameful prospect. Having a purpose has always been a critical part of how I see myself and my future.  This has become an issue as concerns my self-image as a disabled person. But that's a reflection I'm not sure I'm ready to delve into just yet; I'm still working it out. I'm not sure I fully understand the point of all those stylized lettered signs, chalkboards, and canvases found running rampant with pithy phrases at craft stores, home decor places, and pinterest, either.  Most of them say such generic or useless stuff, and some are just downright, frustratingly wrong.  For example, one of my least favorite quotes of all time: "God never gives you more than you can handle."  I think, at...